That Betrayal Was Your Blessing
When I was younger and less secure than I am now, I found that I would put up with almost any treatment just to be included. I knew that people were being rude and sometimes making jokes at my expense, so I would laugh along with them and pretend that their comments didn’t hurt me. Inside, however, I was quietly dying from shame.
I wanted so badly to be liked that I tolerated some of the worst behavior. I allowed myself to be the brunt of jokes just so that I didn’t have to sit by myself at meals or stand alone at the bus stop. I just wanted to fit in. When you’re an only child and you spend a great deal of time by yourself, you relish the company of others even when that company is not the most desirable. I wasn’t a very good judge of character back then.
I was able to keep other people’s secrets and it gave me the false belief that they would keep mine. I can’t begin to tell you how many times my trust was betrayed, but I was ever hopeful, so I would open up again and again and again. Is it any surprise to you that once again I tasted the sting of betrayal?
I blamed myself for having poor judgment and trusting too easily. “If only...” became my mantra, until I realized they were the two most dangerous words I could speak, (aside from “I can’t”). I’m not God; how could I know anyone else’s intentions? Only He could do that and He could change those intentions and move upon their hearts and use them to bless me.
God sees the end from the beginning and uses ALL things for my good. If I experience pain, it is only to teach me to value pleasure; if it rains on my parade, there is always the promise of sunshine to follow. My part is to trust, believe, and wait. It’s in the waiting where growth occurs, and pain often produces growth.
In each season of our lives we must trust the Teacher and pay attention so we can pass the test to proceed to the next level. Those who betray us are part of the lesson necessary for our advancement. We’ll never get “there” if we’re determined to remain “here”.
A mother eagle deliberately makes the nest uncomfortable when she’s ready for her eaglets to leave. If they remained comfortable, they’d stay forever. I imagine they feel betrayed by their mother, until they begin to soar and experience the thrill of flying on their own and exploring the wide open skies.
If we remain comfortable and complacent, we’ll never know what we’re capable of and how big the world is beyond where we currently sit. Thank God for those betrayals; they end up as blessings when you surrender the pain to Him.