How many of you are struggling with boundary issues? When your self-esteem is low, you tend to put up with things that make you uncomfortable in order to fit in. The thing is that when you don’t give an honest “no”, you can’t give an honest “yes” either. The reason you hold back with your truth is because you’re afraid of being left out or of hurting other people’s feelings, right? But by not being honest you’re devaluing the relationship.
Look at it this way, when you’re not honest about your feelings, it means you’re being dishonest. Yeah...hard truth. So, if you know you have a tendency to lie, how can you expect anyone else to be honest? It calls everyone else’s sincerity into question all the time.
I hate to go all King James on you, but honesty begets honesty and lies beget lies. The simple solution is to just be yourself and speak your truth in love. If something doesn’t feel right to you then say so. I tell people all the time that “No” is a complete sentence. It doesn’t need an explanation and it doesn’t need a qualifier. If someone ask you to validate your “No”, or explain it away, then there’s a respect issue and you don’t need them in your life. A simple, “Because that doesn’t work for me”, should suffice; and if it doesn’t, simply walk away.
God has really clear boundaries and He doesn’t change them to make us feel good about ourselves. He loves us but He has nothing to do with sin. He sent Jesus Who knew no sin to become sin for us and make salvation possible for anyone who would receive it. God stays as far away from sin as the east is from the west. We know what we have to do if we want to be in right standing with Him and there’s no gray with God.
Learn to set boundaries for yourself with others. Life will become so much easier for you and them when everyone knows where you stand and what to expect. The truth will be easier to define and live out. No questions!