I spend a lot of time listening to people talking about wanting to change themselves. Believe me when I say that sometimes we need to change. Sometimes we get stuck in old habits and ruts and change is necessary. It's like taking the same route home from work every day and never seeing any different scenery. It can get boring. There's a whole world out there that you never get to see if you never take a different path.
But sometimes we're not the problem. If we're trying to change ourselves based on someone else's comments or based on their perception of us, we may have it all wrong. If all we ever hear is one persons opinion telling us that everything we're doing is wrong and doesn't meet their expectations, we need to ask ourselves if there might be something wrong with their expectations or their standards.
When a flower doesn't grow, you check its environment and make adjustments to it. If it needs more nourishing soul, you repot it! Perhaps we need different soil, more Sonlight, a bit more watering from the Word, and to be nourished by a different group of friends. We may not be the problem at all; it may be our environment. There's a quick fix for that!