I don’t know about you but sometimes I like to think I am in control. I make decisions, come up with a plan, make a road map, start walking my path and then along falls a tree in the road or a rainstorm pops up – not just a rainstorm, but a hurricane! No, not just a hurricane, more like a tornado. Can you relate? And I am tempted to cry out to God, “What are You doing? I (Big I) had plans. Were You unaware of what I (Big I) was trying to accomplish here? How could You allow this to happen?”
I feel angry, frustrated, foiled in my plans, deserted by the One I thought was supposed to be for me, hurt, abandoned…all in one moment, and it becomes overwhelming. Almost more than I can bear. And then I realize that He never gives me more than i (small i) can bear. He bears all my griefs and sorrows because He cares for me. All of His ways are perfect because He knows the end from the beginning of a thing and i (small i) can only see a small portion of this puzzle called my life.
When I allow myself to think that I know more than He does, I am likely to get in great trouble. I have to trust Him because His perspective is so much greater than mine will ever be. Mine is finite while His is infinite. I have used the analogy of an ant crawling across the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel getting stuck in the nooks and crannies and wondering if they’ll ever get across. They never realize the beauty they are travailing because they are in the midst of the artwork, unable to see what those of us on the ground below are basking in. That is the difference in my perspective and His when it comes to my life. I praise Him because He loves me enough to save me from myself and only deliver the best to me when the timing is right. Selah.