I had a professor who would often open classes by asking this question and, never fail, I would be hard-pressed to come up with an answer. You see, I recognized that this required a heart-check. Where I might think I was and where God might see me could actually be worlds apart and I was concerned about that reality.
I might think I was walking in love even though I knew full well that if push came to shove, I could just as easily get in my car and speed dial my best friend and launch into a full-blown, “Girl, you won’t believe what she just said to me about so and so. Yes, she did, too.” And I had just smiled all in girlfriend’s face…How Godly was that? Or I might have held someone while they cried and said all the right things, yet been thinking to myself, “Well, Lord, this one belongs to You. You fix them. I told them what to do, but You know better than anyone, they just don’t listen.” As if I am totally obedient and get everything in life perfect… Or sat in church praying up a storm, then rushed home to watch something trashy that I know no child of the Most High has any business watching, as if He takes naps and missed that afternoon. Or the time I said a bad word in Spanish (regularly, because I only know the bad ones), like He doesn’t speak Spanish. You get my drift.
The Word tells us to judge not lest we be judged, and to be mindful that with the same measure we dole it out, we’ll surely get it back. So I ask you to consider searching your hearts, I mean, mine those things real deep. There’s probably some things in there you don’t want other people to know about and I don’t blame you; I’m embarrassed just typing this! But we have to know that there is One we can’t hide anything from because He knows the intentions of our hearts before we do. In fact, Jeremiah 17:9 tells us, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure; who can understand it?” God can and there is forgiveness and help in changing these wicked hearts of ours. First, we must recognize how imperfect we are. Then, we must acknowledge we need help and be willing to seek Him daily; for some of us, that may even mean moment by moment.
I might also like to suggest having an accountability partner, like a Christian life coach, who will search the Scriptures with you, pray with you, be transparent with you, and help you set goals and cheer for you as you reach them. David and Jonathan had such a relationship; even the disciples traveled in pairs. Once you confront your need for change, you may recognize you also need a coach and want to call me to set up your appointments and I will be honored to work with you.
So I ask you once again, where does the Lord find YOU today?